- They’re not optional.
- There is no such thing as a bad time or bad place to take one.
- When napping on top of the covers, arrangement is paramount.
- When napping under the covers, an air hole is handy.
- Sharing covers with others while napping is overrated and unnecessary.
- If there is a lump under the covers, then on top of it is a perfect place to lie.
- They don’t get longer because you need more sleep as you get older, they get longer because you need more time to stretch after.
- Curled up in the sun is the best place for a morning nap and in the middle of the bed the afternoon.
- They’re great way to pass the time while waiting for loved ones to come home.
- Dream chasing done when napping is a good reason for taking another.
- There is no three second rule.
- If it looks edible it is.
- Everything goes better with bacon.
- Chewing is overrated.
- Everything is an appetizer for something else.
- The louder the crunch the better it must be.
- Drool when placing your order and belch when leaving a tip.
- A great way to finish off a good meal is with a good nap.
- Not everyone appreciates my taste in cologne.
- Carpets are absorbent for a reason.
- The best time to play in the mud is after a bath.
- Why worry about bad hair days when you are continuously losing your hair anyway?
- Blaming my gas on someone else is bad karma.
- Grooming yourself in public is okay as long as you do it with style.
- To lift the lid if I don’t want to get hit with a rolled up newspaper.
** Authors Note:
I do not under any circumstance advocate the use of swats with rolled up newspaper as a method for wives to deal with their husband’s lid lifting behavior. If your husband seems to be particularly hard to housetrain, please consult a qualified behaviorist.