Job Titles in the Multi-Dog Household

Sharing my home with four dogs has been an absolute blast for me. With each new addition to the household I am able to watch new layers of my dogs’ personalities become exposed. But that doesn’t mean that sometimes I don’t long for the days of yore, when we were just a one dog two human house.

Bill Cosby once said that he didn’t consider a married couple with only one child to be parents. He reasoned that if something was broken in the house, you’d know who did it. I believe this holds true for the single puppy palace as well.

Now I admit that having four dogs does afford me 4X the laughter and 4x the joy. But it also comes with 4x the responsibility which means I have to add a few new job titles to my resume. I’d like to share some of the more challenging ones with you.

Overseer of Popcorn Distribution

With a one dog household this is a simple task; one piece for me, one for the wife, and two for the dog (doggie math). But with four dogs strategic placement of the kernels is vital! Dogs can count! And they will give you the serious stink eye if they feel they’ve been shorted.  I’ve had to purchase one of those clicker counters to make sure I don’t lose track.

Toy Purchasing Manager

With one dog buying toys is a snap. My wife used to go with a blanket approach whereby she would just buy one of each kind and the ones that the dog didn’t like were given away or donated. You would think that would still work for a multi-dog household but you’d be wrong. We now have to buy four of everything and it has to be in exactly the same color because to a dog with a red Kong will want the other dogs blue Kong and vice versa. We even have to test the squeaky toys to make sure the squeakies are squeaking on the same frequency.

Puke & Waste CSI

Arriving at home to find an accident is no problem for the single dog household, but just try asking four dogs who it was that made the mess. They are masters at the art of casting accusing looks at each other and by some strange coincidence all seem to be feeling just fine by the time you discover the evidence. Often DNA analysis is the only means we have of identifying the culprit.

Director of Floor Level Entertainment

I used to relish getting down on the floor and wrestling about with my dog. Now with four dogs, it seems the game has devolved to who can get the most slobber on the man. They’ve even mastered a new game whereby the winner is the dog who can get the man to get on the floor the most during the day without actually playing with him. It’s called watch the old man groan.

I know that many of you have had to adopt new job titles as you’ve welcomed new pets into your household and I would love to hear some of them.


Kevin, Jackie, Gavin, Annie, Tosha, Elbee