Sleeping Dogs Lie so Sleeping Humans Can’t

We’ve all heard the saying “let sleeping dogs lie,” and for the most part it’s a good maxim. I normally adhere to its wisdom— I just wish my dogs would do the same.

My dogs have been discouraged from waking us up unless there is a real need. Hey, we all have a little too much to drink before going to bed from time to time.  However, even well trained dogs have been known to stretch the rules from time to time.

My dogs have a variety of techniques they use to pull the old “Oops did I wake you up?” followed by the inevitable “As long as you’re up…” gambit.

For starters there’s the old sit and stare. I can’t count the number of dreams I’ve had where I ‘m being watched only to wake up and find out that it’s true.

A favorite of my gang is the highly contagious itchy ear syndrome. Instead of scratching their ears, one dog will start flapping its ears to relieve the itch.. Amazingly, the itch will leap from the dog that just flapped its ears to the next dog that flaps its ears in turn. The only known cure for this disease is of course to get up from your nap and feed the dogs something.

The increasingly loud yawn and stretch is another oldie but goodie. I think my dogs got this one from watching too many teen make out movies.

The water cooler is yet another innovate technique used by my dogs. All of a sudden they will have a 3AM meeting at the water bowl to discuss the latest episode of Real Housewives. While discussing those shows is annoying enough as it is… they then have a drinking contest where the winner is the one that drinks the loudest.

Of course all dogs have the ultimate weapon for waking us up from the deepest of sleeps and pinkest of Floyd; I am of course talking about the puke. Be they dry heaves or the full dinner course, I’ve yet to meet the dog lover that has not been roused from sleep by this particular serenade.

So the next time you see a sleeping dog lying around your house, why not poor some kibble into their bowl. As soon as they wake put the bowl away and go lie down in their spot. After all, one good turn deserves another.

Cheers,

The gang at Dog Lover’s Digest

 

5 thoughts on “Sleeping Dogs Lie so Sleeping Humans Can’t

  1. Oh, the puke – it’s the one that is sure to get me every time! I’ve clamored over my husband, launched myself the 4 1/2 feet out of the upper bunk in the Winnebago, and hit the floor before I’ve even opened my eyes when the sound of dry heaves hit my ears.

    • I’ve not launched myself out of bed. But I have suddenly woke up not because of the sound, but because I realized what the sound was.

  2. LOL! Nothing, absolutely nothing wakes me from a sound sleep faster than the sound of a dog heaving/puking. Years ago I caught a pile in a bedroom slipper. Saved the carpet, but the slipper…?

  3. Great story. My dog didn’t puke, but did keep me from ever sleeping close to my husband. I survived a childhood of horrific abuses. While I graduated from college, have a great career, and live on the beach, I have failed in terms of relationships. I’m married, but have to tell my husband often that I wish I could love him as much as I love my dog. She did teach me how to love. Please read my post about recently losing my dog on http://www.readkt.blogspot.com/. I can’t write about it now without crying again.

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