My many years of doggy dealings have left an indelible impression on me. So much so that 15 years of psychotherapy has not been able to remove it. And so, in a last ditch effort to declutter my mind and make room for important things like answers to Jeopardy questions, I thought I would share some fun facts about dogs that I’ve compiled over the years.
- Grabbing a terrier’s tail and turning it counterclockwise does not unwind it.
- A tennis ball has not reached its ultimate consistency until it is so slobber logged that it just splats and doesn’t bounce when dropped from a height of 4 feet.
- Dogs believe a human nap irrelevant and a dog nap sacred.
- The most reliable recall can be had simply by putting on a clean white suit or dress.
- Border Collies are secretly employed by livestock therapists specializing in PTSD.
- Most livestock think Border Collies need therapy.
- No bed is ever properly made as far a dog is concerned.
- Dogs see vacuum cleaners as a personal affront to their dignity.
- Dogs agree with Dr. Seuss, a crumb is a crumb, no matter how small.
- Dogs believe that taking any kind of pill is spontaneous game of hide and go seek.
- A dog’s nose is the more useful than a Swiss Army Knife. It can be used to smell the popcorn under the human and flip the human over as well.
- Dogs have the same selective hearing that married couples and teenagers develop.
- Dogs never take a human’s word that the plate is empty and the phrase “all gone” is an expletive to them.
- They would rather just be called by one name, usually around dinner time.
- Dogs think we’re cute when we spell.
Of course I realize that I’m not the only dog lover who has been traumatized by these furry little beasts. I invite you to share your own fun facts about dogs with us. After all, it’s only by understanding our nemesis that we can hope to overcome.