Things you’ll Never Hear a Dog Say

CheersIt’s a good bet that if your dog could talk, you would never hear them say the following:

  • I shouldn’t have eaten that last hot dog!
  • I see you have your new clothes on so I will keep to myself.
  • It’s too early to bark at that squirrel in my back yard.
  • A clean house is a safe house.
  • I feel sick; I should vomit on the linoleum instead of the bed.
  • Here come the humans, I should make room for them on the bed.
  • The food in that other dog’s bowl doesn’t appeal to me at all.
  • This stuffed toy is brand new; I want to keep it intact for many years to come.
  • Begging is beneath me.
  • That carcass looks disgusting.
  • Why yes, I do want a bath please; while you’re at it could you clip my nails?
  • I will never sniff another butt.
  • A trip to the vets? Lovely.
  • No.  You’re tired. I can wait until tomorrow to play.
  • It’s your bathroom and you deserve some privacy.

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